yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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