Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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