i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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