I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
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the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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