I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
