Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
