I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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