Moan for me like Helen Keller
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
