I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
