I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We talked him into tasing himself.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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