the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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