I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
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Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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