Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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