God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize