He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize