He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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