absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
