the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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