Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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