You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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