We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
