Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
