i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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