Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize