So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
