I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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