So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
