Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
