i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
