every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
