I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
