things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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