How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
