ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
