Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself

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(417): View more from Missouri

Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

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(626): View more from California

Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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(518): View more from New York

I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.

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(619): View more from California

i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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(510): View more from California

Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.

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(562): View more from California

my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.

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