Having a random hookup so left but love u
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just found puke in my bra..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
