white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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