I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm both gender and math confused
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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