4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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