where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
