yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
