awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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