I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
