Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
