Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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