Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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