arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
