Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize