Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
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We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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