he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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