But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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