I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
