Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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