on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
