I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize