even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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