So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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