Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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