My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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