In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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