Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
