Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
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You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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