I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
