Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
