Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
